I'm not a person who is particularly good at making and keeping New Year's Resolutions. And, if we're being honest, I think if you really need to make a change you should make it ASAP rather than waiting arbitrarily for January 1st. Run your life on your watch my dear, not the Sun's. That said, I wanted to give myself something to keep in mind throughout 2018 (I've never typed that before...super weird). So, I've been thinking a lot about one particular line from a favorite poem of mine, and I'm going to try and keep it in mind as I go about my year, and really, my life in general. So here we go. "And then, it's 10 years later and they are still dead and you are happy" -Jared Singer, Just Take a Shower Now, if you know, you know it has not been 10 years. It has barely been one. But I find myself having more and more days when I laugh more than I cry. More and more days where I think "Damn, I am happy again." And for a while I felt kinda guilty about it. Going back to what people think of you and others' expectations of grief, I'm constantly waiting for someone to tell me I'm doing it wrong. But it's okay to be happy! It's great to be happy! Dad would be so thrilled that I'm happy. There are moments I drive home from work and a favorite song of his comes on the radio and I cry and smile and I swear he's in the passenger seat. So I didn't really resolve to do anything new in 2018 I suppose, but rather I will just continue to be, and hopefully in that I will continue to be happy.
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May 2018
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